I am a Korean Haircut Racist

26 Feb

I remember this one day back in middle school when I needed a haircut pretty bad. Me and my homie D were walking home when we saw a barbershop run by some old white dude. He had platinum white hair and thick frame glasses — your average old white guy running a regular old barbershop.

Now up until that point my mom used to take me to the Korean neighborhood to get haircuts by ajummas. But I was a big boy. All grown up. I could get haircut on my own, right? How bad could it be?

Worst hair decision of my life. He looked at my hair all confused and didn’t even know where to start cutting it. He just went straight for the buzzer and killed my hair along with teetering middle school confidence. One top of that he was yelling at his son on the phone the entire duration of the haircut (I am not joking, the entire haircut). Then he proceeded to yell at me for not knowing what I wanted with my hair. The entire time I was looking at my friend through the mirror with my WTF face. He was quite amused.

Now I’m all for cultural understanding. And I really enjoying trying new things in different cultures with different kinds of people. Really, I do. But when it comes to my hair? HELL NO. I will never let white people touch my hair ever again. I did get “ehh… ok” haircuts from these Russian dudes. But now that I’ve been getting haircuts by Korean people for Korean people? No way dude. I have become a straight haircut racist. I will not get my haircut by non-Asian people again. (I guess this is what non-asian people must feel like when they get their haircut in Korea ;) ).

But seriously. It really matters. Korean people know Korean hair (or just Asian hair in general). But they probably wouldn’t know where to start with black dudes.

I was getting a bit sick of my hair, so I went today to change it up a bit. It was the least amount of hair that I’ve ever cut in my life. Here’s the video!


Who do you think gives the best haircuts?

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Why Koreans Get So Much Plastic Surgery

14 Feb Untitled-3

It’s aiin’t no secret that Korea is number 1 in the world for plastic surgery, but why? Now I’m not an anthropologist or some culture professor anything, but after having lived in Korea for a while and growing up with Korean family, made me come to this 4 part theory! It’s probably wrong, but I mean… dude can guess right?

1. Korea is crazy image centric. It’s crazy how many mirrors there are so that people can make sure they’re looking good (elevators, subway stations, etc.). Girls put on make up when they go to the supermarket, and even some Korean dudes put on make up. It’s crazy. And what better image can you get than through plastic surgery?

2. Korea is super competitive. That’s why there’s so many hagwons: for kids to be better than / keep up with the other kids. Everyone works really hard and tries to be on top of the game. I’m from NYC and the competition gets hot there, but it’s a pressure cooker over here. I’m an outsider and I still feel it!

3. The attitude in Korea towards plastic surgery isn’t so crazy. The America I grew up in kind of tends to make a big deal regarding plastic surgery. “Oh yo, did you hear she got a boob job?!” It’s kind of considered cheating back in America. But here it’s just kind of a thing. Even some parents promise their kids in high school plastic surgery as graduation presents.

4. Shamanism (aka Musim, Mugyo, 무교) – Ok, so I know this is really academic and stuff. But I think it’s one of the reasons! Korea’s old school religion is really deeply rooted in Korean culture and society. And since it was a very materialistic religion, I think it kind of explains why Korea is really focused on things of this world. And isn’t plastic surgery (just for beauty purposes) kind of a “worldly” value? (As opposed to spiritual or something else?) Iunno, just a guess.

See the video:

If you have your own theories, let me know in the comments!

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Dude’s Guide to Taxi Manners in Korea

12 Feb

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My super scared elevator friend (see previous post) and I were talking about how Korea is “supppppper scary” (insert eye roll here). And the conversation turned to one of the scariest places for Korean girls: taxis. Now, aside from foreigners getting ripped off, 98% of taxi rides end with no problems. But I do agree that this can be a scary situation for girls as I’ve heard several harassment stories from girls that I know personally (nothing too serious though, just drivers being creepy). It sucks, but it’s part of the reality here. I guess cabbies get lonely, you know?

Anyway, I always thought I was pretty good with taxi manners. I would (sometimes) walk a girl out (if I liked her enough) and flag a cab down and open the door for her. And I’d always say: “hey, text me when you get home.” And that would be about it. After, I would hold my head high and be like… “Yo, Keith…. You’re so thoughtful!” (Only half kidding ;) )

But damn yo, my friend blew me out of the water with her step-by-step guide! This is real chivalry in 2013, my friends. I was thinking about keeping this to myself to… you know… be awesome by myself. But how can I call myself your homie if I aiin’t share the good stuff ;) . Here it is:

(Note: Use this guide for your girlfriends, just friends and all the awkward stuff in between.)

  1. Flag down a taxi for girl – Obvious… girls arms get mad tired.
  2. Tell cabbie where to go – Get the destination from the girl and tell it to the taxi driver. This will (a) let the driver know that you know where he’s supposed to be and (b) make you look like chivalry king by saving girl’s mad tired voice as well.
  3. Take pic of license plate and/or taxi credentials – Taking pictures of these things will let the taxi driver know that you aiin’t joking around. And you got something to take to the police if something ever does happen.
  4. Tell girl to text you when she gets home – to confirm of course. If no text, you can always text first to ask.

Of course the best way to make sure a girl is safe is to take the taxi with her. That’s easy if she’s on the way to your house or she lives near you. But the ultimate chivalrous move is when she lives on the opposite end of the city and you take it with her and then go all the way back. Most dudes will only do this for girlfriends, or chicks they’re trying to impress. And if she’s semi-interested in you, you just scored some brownie points my friend. If she’s not interested in you, she pwns you pretty bad buddy.

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Korean Girls Be Scared of Me (And Every Other Dude)

5 Feb

Long time world!

Ok, so funny story time. The first time I came to Korea to live was back in 2005. It was less than 24 hours I got off the plane, and I was jet lagged. So I found a cafe at 6:30AM and just stood outside sipping my coffee. One of the part-time workers was outside washing the windows. She was close by, so I casually said “It’s nice weather today, isn’t it?” Now the rules of conversational etiquette dictate that the worker should have:

(a) respond about how nice the weather was, which could progress into a conversation if she so desired.

or

(b) give a short but polite reply and return to work if she did not wish to hold unnecessary dialogue.

Instead of (a) or (b), I got an ultimate death stare of universe. She didn’t say one word and just stared at me like  some crazy dude that liked talking about the weather and raping girls. She was visibly scared and weirded out. So she inched away, keeping me in her sights, and returned to work without saying a word.

That was my very first culture shock in Korea. But I later realized that it’s 1) abnormal to talk to strangers for no reason at all. And that 2) a lot of Korean girls be straight petrified of random strangers of the male kind.

Now since a lot of the fear is directed towards guys, I’m guessing it’s a rape thing. And I understand. Rape is something girls have to be aware of. It’s a serious issue, and I don’t want to make light of it. But as someone who grew up outside of this society, I think the fear might be a bit excessive.

Here’s a few “scary stories” that I’ve heard:

“Scary Story” #1

- Friend was in the elevator of her apartment building and a delivery man (with full on uniform, holding a package) was riding with her. He turned to her to ask if he was in the right apartment building. And she timidly said yes.

That’s the end of the story. Really. But she told me it was a “scary situation.” Scary enough for her to actually remember a 20 second elevator ride with a delivery man.

“Scary Story” #2

- Taxi driver takes friend home. Taxi driver has a bunch of tangerines and offers her one. She says thank you. But instead of eating it, she worries that he might have injected it with something.

She ended up eating it when she got home. And sure enough, it was a delicious tangerine.

Of course not every Korean girl is afraid of everything. But just the fact that I can quote these as examples is proof that there is a fear that exists among Korean women. Who knows. Maybe it’s all warranted. There are definitely stories about these totally normal situations that turn into shocking front page news.

I am not a girl, so there are somethings that I will never understand. But as someone that’s on the other side, it makes me not want to be nice to strangers. Because even if I am nice, I will get death stare. Your boy is mad sensitive yo and death stares are crazy scarring!

Maybe I should just be like this:


If you’re a girl, do the same thoughts run through your head? Do you think this fear is  excessive?

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Seoulistic.com is 1st Page on Google!

8 Oct

Google is the number 1 search engine in the world, and being on the first page for any popular keywords on google means really you’re doing a good job for SEO (search engine optimization, tactics for trying to get on the first page of google). In addition to solid technique, it also takes some time to get yourself on the first page of Google. And since Seoulistic.com has been around for a little over 6 months, I’ve been able to get on the first page of google for a number of important keywords and phrases.

My target audience is people coming to visit Seoul. And what do people traveling search for? Good restaurants! The number 1 Korean food people around the world know? Galbi! That’s why my very first post was the 10 most best galbi restaurants in Korea.

Search “best galbi restaurant in Seoul” and Seoulistic.com’s post is number 1 (it may be different according to where you’re located)! It even beat out the travel site juggernaut CNNGo.com. Holla!

Many people that travel to an unfamiliar place search for famous restaurants. So if you search for famous restaurants in Seoul, Seoulistic.com’s post on Seoul’s 10 Oldest (and Best!) Restaurants  comes out 3rd. That’s HUGE man… seriously.

But the one I am most proud of is my post on How to Get Free Wifi Anywhere in Korea. It grabbed the top spot on Google for even the really general search term “wifi in Korea.” And of course if you’re traveling to Korea and googling for “free wifi in Korea,” Seoulistic will come up first as well.

I have a number of other search terms related to my niche, and I rank on the first page for. But the site is still young and it’ll only get better. It just takes time. This is very, very encouraging. I’m bad ass, yo!

BTW, if you were traveling to Korea, what would you search for? Let me know so I can get the keywords and also help you out too!

Thanks everyone!!!! :D

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My Korean Dad and His Korean Gangster Homeboys

19 Sep

My dad is in town taking care of some stuff and hanging out, and today I hung out with him and his homeboys from elementary, junior and high school. And I gotta admit, it’s pretty original gangsta (og)… or at least original Korean gangster. Here’s a couple of examples:

  • they all call each other 임마 (immah) and 새끼 (saekki). Normally these are Korean curses when said to strangers, but among friends from childhood, it’s just another way to address your friends. Cursing at ur friends and getting away with it is mad og!
  • my dads friend was concerned that I was bored, but one of the more gangsta ajeoshis said i should just be quiet an listen. I wasn’t even mad yo! I know when one of your dads friends tell you to just “be still” (가만있어), you listen!
  • my dad was telling stories of how his boys ruled the school and no one messed with them. They were the athletes back in the day and if you messed with one, you messed with em all! LOL sounds similar to my favorite korean gangster movie, 친구 (Friend) :)
  • one confirmed jail time, probably a few more ha!
  • the baddest ajeoshi started two fights. At the end of the night, he had one of em bowing to him, OTL lol!
  • one ajeoshi said straight out that one of em was a gangster (깡패). I believe him because that dude had a perm

And of course, they are still very Korean. Even with all their Korean original gangsterness, there was a lot of hand holding, which progressed to cheek kissing and I love you’s (alcohol may or may not have been involved).

Cool night to experience my dad and his og friends. But actually, his childhood stories sound very similar to my own… just much more Korean ;)

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Korean Hugs vs American Hugs

31 Aug

Check out the comparison below. And you’re a liar if you don’t see the difference!

Original Free Hugs video (in Australia, but essentially same form and technique as American hugs)

vs “Free Hugs Seoul” with Korean-style hugs described below

Note: I’m mostly talking about my experience with hugging between friends or family. Not bf/gf!

One of my most favorite people in the world is a friend that I’ve known since nursery school. She’s super sweet, smart, tons of fun, and when she speaks Chinese with her mom, it is the most beautiful thing in the world. But more than super awesome sounding Chinese, one of the biggest reasons I love her is because of her hugs. She gives the best… hugs… EVAR. Her hugs are actual embraces. They have just the right amount of pressure and strength. And on top of that, every hug she gives is straight genuine, yo. Full of love and affection. And she’ll randomly hug someone for no reason simply because she wants to at that moment. She is probably the best hugger that I know! (My mom is up there too, but her hugs are super uncontrolled, so it’s too much to handle sometimes!)

As someone who grew up in America, I’ve learned to really appreciate good quality embraces. But a quality hug in America is very different than a quality hug in Korea. And I sure do miss American style hugging.

  • For one, hugging between the opposite sex is not as common as it is in America. And let’s be real here. There’s not many reasons for me to hug dudes. So that all equals me getting way less hugs here in Korea. :(
  • Second, when I do get/give a hug, it’s usually an arm hug. Minimal body contact with the arms doing most of the work. I will typically reach for the head/neck area, but friends will usually give an underarm hug. This usually results in uneven leverage for decent hug pressure and strength.
  • Third, many of the hugs I give are one-sided. I’ll be super glad to see a friend I haven’t seen in a long time and be like: “I missed you!” and go in for a big embrace. My female friends, however, will usually just take it and wait. Usually I’ll get a few pats on the back and an awkward “I missed you too.” But most of the time it kinda feels like they’re just waiting for it to be over. ha!

Living here, I’ve learned to give Korean-style hugs. So if you’re a dude hugging a Korean female friend, try following my half-serious (mostly nonsense) step-by-step guide!

How to Give Korean Style Hugs

  1. Don’t go for the full-on embrace. Those are typically reserved for Korean drama mama type moments, like breaking up at a subway station.
  2. Keep bodily contact to a minimum. To do this, stick your butt out and hug with arms around the neck. Some shoulder contact is acceptable, but avoid boobage if possible.
  3. Pay attention to your timing. Naturally, hugs (even in Korea) can’t be too short. If you have a 1-pat hug and break, might as well be giving a pound to your homie. But you definitely want to make sure you don’t hug too long. Your female friend just might get the wrong idea!

Haha, alright, I’ve had my fun :) But still very true! If you know what I’m talking about, holla at me in the comments!

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