Korean Girls Be Hiding Their Boyfriends

Ok, so this has been bugging me for a while. I’ve been noticing that some Korean girls don’t post pictures of their boyfriends on their facebook, their kakao pictures, their cyworld, just anything that is shared with the world. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen Korean girls posting pics with their boyfriends before, but there are quite a few girls that do NOT post their pics with their boyfriends. Maybe it’s just me being uber suspicious of Korean girls, but if I’m dating someone I like, I would love to show the world who I’m with. You know?

Example 1: There was this Korean friend of mine that was dating a guy for 4 years. And I did not see 1 single picture of her boyfriend. Who knows… maybe I did see a pic of her bf. But for 4 years, you have to make some kind of effort to make sure you purposely dont mention it!
Example 2: I was the one who took a picture of her and her boyfriend. And she cut him out of her pic yo! She’s not a girl to be dating around when she has a boyfriend. I am extremely close to her, so I know. But  I mean… why you gotta do that?!
Example 3 & 4: I’ve even seen wedding pictures that have the guy blatantly cut out. Girls be married yo… and still you’re cutting your man out??? WHY!?

I’m not trying to be judgmental here. I am just very, very curious. Why do some Korean girls (again, not all) purposely leave their boy toys out of the picture??? Back home, I’d be proud of my girl. I would love to share with the world the girl that I’m with. But that isn’t always the case here.

I don’t think Korean girls are looking to cheat on their boyfriends. That’s not what I’m suspecting (at least not everybody :P). But what is it? Are you keeping your options open? Are you hoping to maybe meet a better guy in the future? Tell me k-girls…. what is up?! I just don’t know!! :)

30 thoughts on “Korean Girls Be Hiding Their Boyfriends

  1. I can’t tell you the reason, naturally, since I’m not Korean, but from what I observe of U.S. girls, pretty much everything they do socially wrt their public image is motivated by jockeying for status amongst their female peers. A generalization, of course, but you started it. ;-) So whatever the motive, it has basically nothing at all to do with the guys they’re with. It has everything to do with how they want to appear to their girl friends.

    In the U.S., it’s just the opposite. U.S. guys generally hide their women, and U.S. women wallpaper their men all over every last surface. That’s because U.S. guys don’t generally get points with other U.S. guys for looking visibly devoted, and U.S. girls gain status with other U.S. girls for looking “taken”.

    So I assume Korean girls gain some kind of status from their female friends by appearing more single than they are.

    Okay, galloping sexist comment mode off now. :-)

    • Steve O. says:

      Korea is a collective society, and people are afraid of being alone. They have boyfriends or girlfriends, but yet they still go on blind dates. They don’t think going on blind dates is cheating. They probably see it as, meeting a “mutual friend”.. Korean people go on blind dates as often as they change their under wears. They might be keeping themselves open, “to see if something better comes along”. Once something does come along, they are able to just break off the relationship and get with the new guy/girl. Korea is a superficial country, why wouldn’t they want to show off their partner?

      Or maybe they’re just really into themselves.. lol

      • Josh says:

        I’d like to also add that Koreans are all about saving one’s face. They are so concerned about how others see them. It’s called 눈치. By appearing not being in a relationship make the girls look like they are pure and innocent.. But of course they go on blind dates and they keep their options open, in case they find a better mate. And they enjoy all the attention… particularly the attractive girls. From my experience, I found that attractive girls tend to keep a facade on while unattractive girls tend to be more honest about themselves. I thought LA girls were superficial but boy, (attractive) Korean girls take it to a different level.

      • Linsey says:

        I am a Korean girl and I don’t know Korean girls in relationships do blind dates..never heard of that. At least never happend among my friends.

  2. Julia says:

    Sometimes, girls just want to get attention by acting mysterious BUT still give you a little bit of “hints” here and there because they know you will wonder and ask about it. Not talking just about Korean girls, but generally girls. What can I say? Girls are complicated.

  3. My Korean friend gave me an explanation that made more sense. It’s that Korean people tend to be more private people. So it’s more common for them to keep everyone in their lives separate (i.e. friends from school won’t mix with friends from work). So that’ll include boyfriends and girlfriends too.

    I’m starting to understand a bit more, but doesn’t mean I’d be cool with my gf cutting out my face! :P

  4. Jae Shin says:

    It’s all about privacy. Showing your boyfriend/girlfriend on facebook is more a liability than a strength. In Korea, as in France and many countries, people tend to get judgmental about your bf/gf and will go around gossiping about how ugly/weird looking people’s gf/bfs are so they try to avoid that kind of attention. In the US it’s more a matter of individual choice.

  5. serandipitystyle says:

    LOL I don’t think it’s just girls who do that, honestly. When I was with a guy before, he didn’t post any pictures of us. I think because he was friends with his ex on his fbk and felt bad? But sometimes, it’s better not to publicize your relationship.

    I totally respect you though for wanting to show off your gf if you had one (; props to you!

  6. Linsey says:

    I guess Koreans like to gossip and people who don’t know about girls’ boyfriends will make gossip of them just by their appearance. I guess that is a reason..and another one, I know some Western guys or Korean guys don’t get rid of their ex girlfriends pics on Facebook. That is really annoying for Korean girls(I know it coz I am Korean and my friends hate that also.) So it is kind of prevention not to leave any pics of her boyfriend in case the boyfriend can be ex? it might be crucial…anyway, that is how I guess.

    • Bevin says:

      That might be a reason….but how do you explain that some girls that are married still cutting the pics?? It might be just in case that they get divorce??? In that case doesn’t have any sense…

  7. Narae says:

    Dating is a very volatile pursuit in korea, Koreans are traditional in the way they don’t like to openly talk about sex, but they are also evolving away from Confucianism very quickly by adopting western ideals – e,g. feminism. What you get now is a schizophrenic melting pot of norms. Koreans still believe that marriage is important, and that dating up until the age of 30 is considered as playing. just to protect those that you care about i think it’s become safe practice not to upload pictures of guys for your friends and family to see. I wouldn’t want to see my Bf’s page littered with pretty girls just as i think guys don’t want to see their gf’s draped around 20 foreigners in every club.

  8. Jane says:

    I find this post very interesting, as it has been bugging me for quite some time for personal reasons. Being naturally interested in the topic I can say that Korean girls seem not to be serious at all about their relationships. I do not know about all of them.

    A girl in a long relationship with her Korean boyfriend went to study abroad to the U.S. She met my boyfriend there. They eventually became friends. Though she had someone in her country, she showed lots of attention to my bf. Hugging him, holding his hand, and eventually saying about her interest. She went this far to send a love letter to his domicile.

    When I recall this story, I think of how terrible it is from my Western point of view. I think about her Corean lover, how committed he was to her. At least, from what i have been told..and the my girl intuition tells me that this type of girls could become dangerous, meaning able to get other’s bf despite anything.

    Thats my 2 cents.

  9. Arggg. I just lost the long comment I had written… but to make it short, one of the reasons not mentioned here is that Korean girls like to keep their personal and professional life strictly separate. Girls do not want to be judged for anything else than their professionalism at work but if they reveal their personal lives to colleagues, they start being judged as a “girl”, not an equal colleague. Facebook, kakaotalk. etc. are something their colleagues, boss or other insignificant members of their wide social circle might see so they rather not show. I don’t think it has anything to do with keeping their options open, not even remotely.

  10. One of my Korean friends, she didn’t cut her boyfriend out but she put like a smiley face over him and other girls kept on asking “누구야? 말해!” but she kept on responding “ㅋㅋ” and really even her CLOSEST friends couldn’t tell who it was, we all had to guess!

  11. Alex says:

    Maybe Korean girls are worried their parents will find out.

    I’m not Korean or even a female but I am a little hesitant of putting a picture of a girlfriend on a place like Facebook. If my parents saw her, they would bombard me with a ton of questions.

    From what I heard, Korean fathers are very protective with their daughters.

    • Flower says:

      I’m a European girl and I don’t like posting pics of a boyfriend. I like my personal stuff to remain personal, all 400 ‘friends’ I have on Facebook (some of my teachers, bosses, etc.) don’t need to know who I’m dating. But I might be a strange person since I don’t put any information about my job/school or my hometown or anything actually. I like my privacy.

  12. tina says:

    I’ve been in Korean a little over a year now and the funniest thing that repeatedly happen when I go out and meet new Korean guys is “do you have a boyfriend/why not, ur lying” or while dancing with a male another guy will try to intervene or take my hand… sneaky bastards or very competitive… I’m not sure but it’s quite intriguing to say the least…

  13. Mie says:

    my bf is korean and he asked me to take photo together and he want to make it for his kakaotalk profile pict, he really happy like found a diamond, hahaha he never do that before, im still curious why korean girl like to hide her bf?

  14. When was in Korea I heard that it’s to not damage your reputation if you breakup. In Korea they usually begin dating at the age of 20 because of the pressure in High school and since guys have the 2 year military service they usually get out there at 22/23 korean age anyway :) If you add that girls should be married before they’re 28 and guys around 30, then it’s not that hard to imagine that dating is (for some) pretty serious and many Korean girls begin thinking if the relationship will end in marriage. Since reputation is a big thing in Korea, girl hide their boyfriend from both friends and family till they are pretty sure that he is the one. If they didn’t then when they break up, the girl would have a reputation that she is less innocent and pure and it would in some cases be harder to get a new (serious) one. And it would be a dent in her image.

    But this is of course the traditional way of doing it and thing are changing rapidly. And it doesn’t go for every Korean girl and maybe it’s not even the norm anymore. But marriage is pretty much the biggest event in a Korean girls life (especially if they plan to be a house wife) and choosing the right guy is really important.

  15. 이민정 says:

    Hi i thought is not only korean women like u said. chinese or japanese or indonesian or many country women really bad. i dont know why people like to talk each other. korean guy talking about korean women, and korean women talking about korean guys. this is life.. u can find a good one but u can find the bad one. its your destiny actually. its not korean women or korean guy mistake. if you too much expect from korean women its your fault. please dont make many people get wrong about korean women.:)

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